The Olympics 2008

August 13, 2008 by Cato the Elder.

The modern Olympics has become a farce. It is nothing more than a national “look at me” show, the world equivalent of a grade-school playground, where the big kids can show everybody else how much bigger they are and argue about who is the best at everything.

As if we needed more proof of that, the current 2008 games featured a lip-synched solo by a child and a CGI fake of a fireworks show. You heard me, FAKE FIREWORKS in CHINA for crying out loud! You’d think that’s one thing they could do for real!

The Chinese gymnastics team seems to feature kids who appear about 9 years old, but have passports to “prove” they’re 16. The reason this matters is that it’s much easier to perform triple flips without running out of beam or floor if you’re only 4 feet 9 inches instead of 5 feet 1. I also noted that the Chinese gymnasts were able to swing around the uneven bars without bending and still miss the lower bar with their feet, while most others had to either bend at the waist or move their feet apart.

I also have a problem with the commercials for the olympics this year. Voiced by Morgan Freeman, they tell us that every four years we forget about our differences and come together from all over the world. Excuse me, but we come from all over the world and try to defeat everyone who’s different. If we were actually forgetting about our differences, we wouldn’t have medal counts and drug tests and cheating. We’d just have a bunch of athletes working out together and giving each other pointers and helping each other perform at their best. That isn’t what happens.

Still, that one isn’t as bad as the Nike commercial, chanting “I have soul but I’m not a soldier.” I’m not one, either, but I have a great deal of respect for them, and I think this chant is disrespectful to those who put their lives on the line to protect us.

Let’s be realistic next time. When 2012 comes around, let’s run commercials that celebrate Team USA. Cheer our side to victory, instead of all this “we are the world” crap! We’re not the world. We’re just the best part of it. We ARE different, and we should celebrate that, not try to pretend it’s not true.

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